When did I push the fast forward button?

In each of my boys' infant lives, there has been a moment when I looked at his face and, for a second, saw the boy that the baby would soon become.

For Nate it was in the car one day, as we drove home from Gramma's house after work. I looked in the rear view mirror and suddenly, instead of the baby I was so familiar with, I saw a little boy looking back at me. It was only for a second, when the light was hitting his face just right.  But it was there. The next moment he was back to being my baby, but sure enough, as he grew up and matured, I saw that little boy emerging day by day.

With Nile, although I can't remember it precisely, it was a similar fleeting moment.  It could have been a photograph, but I won't ever remember. We lost all the pictures from when Nile was a baby in the Great Computer Crash of 2009, and with it went some of my memories, unfortunately.

With Novak, I didn't think I had had that moment where I saw the boy that my baby would become.

But when I was going through pictures on my phone, I suddenly realized that I had.  Right here, right in this picture, I found my moment with Novak.  In this picture, he doesn't look like my baby.  He looks like a boy.

I know it's been said by moms since time began, so this isn't an original thought.  I will definitely not be the last one to say it, either.  But if I could only slow down time just a little, I would.  He's growing up too fast. :(

Introducing...Novak Bean!

Novak Bean Ryerson was born on September 26, 2010 at 1:16 pm. He was 7 pounds, 5.5 ounces and 19 inches long.

Now for the details, if you care to know.

I went into labor at 2:45 am, in the middle of the night of course (as all three boys have been). I think it must be how my body works (or my body's attempt to get revenge on my sister for some past wrong by waking her at painfully early hours!)

Once Becky arrived we headed to the hospital. They decided to observe me for 2 hours to see how things would proceed. Two hours later (at 8 am), they decided to admit me, and my body promptly stopped having contractions.

Since Nile had come so fast (we checked into the hospital at 9 cm and he was born within an hour), my doctor recommended we get the epidural anyway. So, she broke my water, and I got an epidural around 9 am. I was relieved because I knew that we really were going to have a baby - but frustrated that my body was not working with me. This was so different from Nate and Nile, their labors had started in full force with contractions 5 minutes apart and there had been no question about whether it was real or not.

Finally, labor started up again, but very irregular. The doctor recommended pitocin to get things more regular. I agreed - and so they started me at the lowest dose. Finally I started to feel like I was in labor.

Things were still not progressing fast though, it was 12 noon and I was at 5 cm when they decided to have me roll onto my side. This was easier said than done with my right leg completely numb! It was like a huge dead weight. I had hoped this would not happen (it had with Nate), but it did. Must be how my body reacts to an epidural.

Anyway, shortly after rolling onto my side, I started to have strong, painful contractions 2 minutes apart. Man, they were awful! I knew if I made it to 1:00, that they would be back to check on me, so Tom helped me breathe through them for a half hour.

At 1:00, the doctor came in, checked me, and said it was time to have a baby! Oddly enough, when I rolled back onto my back, the pain stopped. Novak was born 10 minutes later, perfect and pink!

Baby Fish's Room

It is starting to come along...

Today is one of those rare days when I actually don't mind doing four loads of laundry. That's primarily because two of those loads are tiny baby clothes, and the third was new baby crib bedding.

Of course I still have to fold and match about a hundred tiny socks when these loads come out of the dryer...so ask me again in a few hours if I still love the tiny baby things (I bet I still will).

It's a...(or, man, how time flies!)

I have been putting off posting this for several weeks now...but not for the reason you might imagine.

Honestly, I was hoping to put ultrasound pictures up to share. But, we don't have a scanner and I haven't bothered to take the time to get them scanned at someone else's house. Apparently my OB office still resides in the dark ages, where ultrasound pictures are only printed as hard copies. But, better to have hard copies than no copies! But I'm not getting to the point, am I?

Back to the original intent of this post.

We are having...a boy! And I am thrilled! Yes, I was a bit surprised about that fact. I was actually really nervous the few days before the ultrasound, which was on May 19. I was worried that I would be disappointed if Baby Fish (see explanation at end of post) was a boy. But the moment I saw his little face, well, the rest of his anatomy really didn't matter any more. Oh, and yes, he has all his parts - at least all of them that they check for on an ultrasound.

I'm relieved, really. I know what to do with boys. I won't have to ever deal with "boy troubles." I will miss not being able to be a Girl Scout Leader (although my sister-in-law has been nice enough to offer me niece Emily's troop when she is older). I will not be able to brush a daughter's hair, dress her up in cute dresses, and share all of my "girly" things that are boxed in the basement. They may never see the light of day... I may have to set up an "Aunt Anne's Girly Things Fund" for my four nieces.

But I love my two, (now three), boys more than I could have ever imagined. I love playing football and soccer with them. I love going to watch Nate's T-ball games. I love teaching Nate about science and space. I love sharing Nile's love of music with him. I can't wait to see what this little boy loves.

And I don't really like pink (although I do wear pink clothes), so I don't have to deal with the bedroom decorating dilemma. Little Fish will have the perfect sports-themed bedroom. Not a spot of pink in sight.

One thing I don't love - being asked if we're going to try again "for our girl." No. No. Hello? No. We did not go into this "trying for a girl." We wanted to have three kids, and I honestly didn't care what gender this baby was. If I really cared, I would have been going into this for the wrong reasons.

And I've realized something in the last few weeks. Something I had forgotten about, but something that is very true. I've never really felt that I got along with girls. I mean, I had female friends in high school, it's true. I don't want to make it seem like I am a tomboy, because I wasn't. But the group I really connected with and spent the most time with was a group of boys. And the memories from that group of friends are some of my most cherished ones.

Then in college, what major did I pick, but engineering? A major in which there were 5 girls for every 25+ boys. And did I make friends with the girls? Um, no. In fact, we were really competitive and I hardly spoke to them. Again, I hung out with a group of guys (and didn't date a one of them).

So I guess, I'm a boys' girl. Or something like that. And I am completely comfortable with the idea that I will be surrounded by boys for the rest of my life. Hey, it gives me another 12 years or so before I have to welcome another female into the family, unless we get a dog. :)

Note: "Baby Fish" is the name that Nate has picked for the baby. I told him once that the baby felt like a fish swimming around in my stomach. So, he'll be Baby Fish until he's born, because we aren't sharing names.

a pea in my pod...

The word is getting out. Our close friends and family know, so I no longer am worried about posting it online.

Coming this October 3 (or more likely September...), we will be adding to our family. The boys will be getting either a new brother or sister. Of course we'd like a little girl, but honestly I don't care what we have. Three boys would be pretty cool too. And we'd have plenty of clothing...

Hopefully, just one. Twins don't run in our family, but man, at the rate I feel like I'm growing, I wouldn't be totally surprised. I'm kidding, kind of. 9 weeks and I feel like I'm starting to outgrow my clothes. I've heard this is totally normal for your third, your body knows what is coming and decides not to fight it. Why didn't my body tell my brain this, though? It would have made things a lot easier.

I've never been pregnant (visibly pregnant) in the summer. This time I will be in the most uncomfortable of the 9 months during the hottest time of the year. Yippee! ;) But I am looking forward to it, in a weird sort of way. Maybe I'll get some use out of that maternity swimsuit I've had for the last five years.

Nate and Nile are excited in only the way that a 4 1/2 and 3 year old can be. They pretty much don't care right now. Every once in a while, Nile will remember, and say something like he did at breakfast this morning. "When it's summer, and the baby comes, you'll have to sit in that chair, right?" (He was remembering a conversation last night when we told him why he can't sit at the head of the dinner table.) Or, "After summer, when the baby comes, I'll be in PRESCHOOL! Yeah!"

For the record, Nate thinks it's a girl, and wants to name her Emily or Emma. Nile thinks it's a boy. If it is a boy, Nate wants to name him Andrew. Sorry, Emily, Emma, and Andrew, but we told him we'll have to think of more original names ;)